My name is Aaron D. McMaster. If you’ve never heard of me, it’s probably because you’re not a hot, busty woman. Most of the hot, busty women in the world are obsessed with me. I know what you are thinking, and you are right. It IS very frustrating to be unable to walk to the store for burritos without being mobbed by tons of hot, busty women trying to make-out with you. I was a 3 time member of the Rad Reader club in elementary school, a D.A.R.E. program graduate, and the only kid in my 5th grade class to eat a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich. In later years, my awesomeness was so concentrated that my high school was legally only allowed to put one photo of me in my senior yearbook. I even fell down at the skating rink and only cried for 20 minutes! I’m living the kind of life that most people only dream about.